Every day I wake up thankful I am able to stay home with my children. And then my mind ALWAYS wanders to the moms who work outside of the home. And I instantly want to high five them & kiss their faces because I admire them SO MUCH. I do NOT feel sorry for them or pity them or anything else that might come to mind. I firmly believe that there is no reason to judge a MOM in any circumstance. We are all individual women whom Christ created to be different & have different ways to raise a family.
Ever since I was fresh out of the womb myself, I've wanted to become a mom. It really is no surprise to anyone who knows me that I have four kids. I worked as a physical therapist assistant for 10 years before throwing in the towel to stay home full time. It was a transition, for sure!
My mindset has changed drastically over the past few years as I've learned how to balance being a SAHM and still have an identity. Being home with your kids ALL DAY can be lonely. It can be isolating & frustrating. BUT, it is the most rewarding job I've ever had (most days... on occasion I announce early retirement but everyone usually ignores me).
Here are a few things I've gathered from being home all day:
1. I will never poop alone. For at least another 10 years. Good bye modesty.
2. The house will never be straight as long as we are home all day. Toys in the basket yell out to my children & tiny tornados destroy my 'tidy-ness'. Get over it, eventually there won't be toys in the floor & I'll miss it!
3. Laundry multiplies in the washing machine, socks disappear, & then clothes vomit themselves all over my bedroom. Which is helped along by tiny hands & giggling siblings who sling my underwear all over the house. (I'm not laughing).
4. When I try & sit on the couch to eat my Bon bons (bc I thought that's how it would be?!!) there are all of these tiny little hands & feet climbing all over me asking me for some?! And someone usually has pooped & needs their butt wiped or has filled a diaper.
5. The directv person or exterminator ALWAYS comes to ring the doorbell when you 'hop in the shower really fast'. Always. (Sending you in a frenzy of DONT YOU DARE ANSWER THAT DOOR, JUNIOR!!! As you half wash off the soap & throw some clothes on).
I've really tried to make sure I schedule time to interact with other adults. Seriously. Sometimes I go a few days and the only other adult I've talked to for a lengthy conversation is Kdog. Woah. THAT is unacceptable.
I start my day corralling children to get dressed & eat breakfast just like every other mom. And I take kids to school & preschool. I pick them all up & in between I balance their naps, help with homework & make sure I feed them. I am frazzled. I am happy! I am TRYING.
It is a balancing act to be at home. It is a balancing act to have a career. But what we all have in common is the love we feel for our family. And that is what matters most.
So next time I'm staring at you with a dazed look, I'm not judging you. I'm thinking how you probably peed alone today. And wishing I did too. On the flip side, don't want to punch me in the face because I made cupcakes today. You should know the baby was crying at my feet & my preschooler sprinkled napkins all over the kitchen. But,it's all good.
It really is ALL good. He works all things together for our good...
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:26-28 NIV)
For me personally, I know I am right where I belong. I don't do any of it perfectly. Never will. And I'm ok with that. I TRY. And I LOVE. Really, I do.
I am thankful. Very very thankful. Thankful for a husband that does this:
I know one thing for sure. With The Lord at the center of your life you can do anything. And you can find JOY even if you wish your circumstances were different.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. (James 1:2, 3 NIV)
p.s. even when I find boogers smeared all over my van window beside my 5 year olds window, I'll have pure joy. Yes. Yes, I will!! (Bc it means he didn't eat them!!). Success.
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It's 11:30pm. My husband and I just finished cleaning pee of our six-year-old's dresser. If you have children or if you've ever been a child yourself, I don't have to explain what happened. So far during these nighttime debacles we've caught him at the chair in his room and at the bathtub. This time we didn't make it in time to drag him to the potty. I walked in to find my husband on his knees, staring open-mouthed at a half naked boy peeing in the middle of his room. Poor guy never even fully woke up. He's sleeping peacefully at the moment while I type away on this laptop.
I don't have to be sitting here writing. It's been a long day and I probably should be in bed. But this is something that I want to do. This is something I get to do for me...and for you. I hope you find some comfort or some joy or some "thank goodness it's not just me" in my writing.
Today was long. It started at 6:30am with getting ready for work. Not to far from normal for most people. The morning continued with getting a five and six-year-old ready for school. (Actually, my morning starts the night before when we lay out clothes, sign homework folders, pack lunches and snacks, and make sure all is ready for tomorrow. I could not survive if I did not get most everything done the night before!!)
On a good day we are out the door at 7:45. Today it was 8:03. Still enough time to get to work on time, but not early enough to get anything done before my students arrive. (Praise Jesus that I only work three miles from home!! I cannot emphasize enough how much that has changed our lives!!)
As the three of us scurry into school I notice that Lauren's shorts pockets look funny. On closer inspection I realize her pants are on backwards.
Me: Who put on your pants?
Her: Me!
Me: Ok, as long as Daddy didn't do that. When we get inside, go to the bathroom and fix your pants.
Her: Ok!
We rush inside with a few minutes to spare. I wish I could remember the funny thing Evan did but it has slipped my memory for now. They walked down the hall, hand in hand, at 8:25 to the arms of their "other moms" until later this afternoon.
My students begin to arrive, handing me fundraiser booklets that will hopefully help our school to add new computers and other technological devices to our school. We need them. Collect lunch money. Take attendance. Answer emails. Crane our necks to try to hear the morning announcements from the class next door because our tv is broken and we can't watch the closed circuit news show. Say the pledge. Moment of silence. I pray.
We greet our friends in morning meeting. We learn about making predictions in reading. We start writing autobiographies. We read to ourselves and read to someone. Number bonds in math. Chip flip game. A tiny bit of computer time. Remediation for those who need it. Reading assessments.
Finally, we head to lunch. I greet 14 grandparents who have joined us for Grandparents Day festivities. I get trapped in the hallway trying to go to the restroom. Peek into the music room to make sure there are at least two adults taking care of a kindergartener who is completely melting down. There are three. Whew. I head back to the cafeteria. We eat. We say goodbye to our grandparents. Three students go home for the day. Wait...I need to count you again. Oh, one was already out sick. Ok. We're good.
PE time for kids equals planning time for me. Time to get ready for tonight's PTA open house. But...what? The prizes from the fundraiser are backwards? Who gets the bracelet and who gets the glow in the dark ring? Go to release something from the copier. Talk to a friend. Make copies. Fill out behavior logs and stuff Tuesday folders. Answer emails. Write down a few ideas for writing for next week.
Sprint down the hallway to pick up kids. Get to the classroom, line back up, head outside. Breathe. Kid with fire ant bites. Scout for fire ants. Kid squashes caterpillar. Other kids are upset. Observe Evan with his class playing on the other side of the playground. <3
Read text from my sister: I am in awe of you all (working moms). I don't know how u do it. I'm a mess without my mind being pulled elsewhere. (I'm bowing to you...) You can curtsy if you'd like. You don't have to tell people why you are curtsying if they stare...
I curtsied. Nobody stared. I giggled.
Assigned math homework (because we forgot during math). Started a social studies lesson. Ended early to get the room ready for PTA open house. That means we have to figure out how to catch up on social studies tomorrow. Put personal collages on the white board. Put writing samples and a math game on our desks. Tidied up. Passed out Tuesday folders. Tidied up some more. FORGOT to pass out the fundraiser prizes. Evan and Lauren arrived. Send carpoolers out. Tidied up some more. Realized it's impossible to tidy up with kids still in the room. Walked kids to busses. Cleaned up the mess my own personal kids made. Taped down conference schedule and fall carnival volunteer sign-ups to the table. Tidied one more time.
Evan says: Mom, on the bottom of my mouth, sort of under my tongue, it feels like I have an extra tooth. I looked. He does. At least, he has a dot of a new tooth...plus one super wiggly one! His first one! I say: The tooth fairy will be visiting soon! He smiles and lights up the room.
Text from church asking if I'm available to sing this Sunday. Have to check on that.
Head out to the car. Drive through Snoopy's for $0.99 hot dogs. Take them home and devour them. Grandma and Grandpa arrive. It's the first time I've seen them today, but not the kids. They had a nice visit at lunch. I find out that Grandma had taken both kids' lunchboxes home due to a ketchup explosion. I am thankful that I did not have to clean up a ketchup explosion right this minute.
I put on nicer pants and nicer earrings and say my goodbyes. Hop in the car. Have a nice chat with my friend who works with me on our way to open house. Go back out to my car because I left my phone. I have ten minutes to breathe so I read Renae's part of this blog. It's FUNNY! :)
One hour of parent visits. Good folks. Good kids. I am thankful. I feel at home. I say goodnight to the beta fish, the hermit crab, the aquatic frog, and the ant farm that will soon have residents. Lock up and head down the hall. Happy for five more minutes of grownup talk. Chatting about coffee, our kids, doughnuts, cancer, and out of town guests.
I go into the house to find happy children, homework done, and my husband walks in two minutes behind me. He's home at his usual time. We are led by the hands of our little ones to the breakfast nook table where we see this:
Thoughtful in-laws gave us a celebration that we never would have had otherwise. :) Lauren cries because she thought the cake was for her birthday...no matter that it was a month ago. Then Paw-Paw presents her with a Taylor Swift t-shirt that he and Grandma stood in line for hours to get from a radio promotion. The Grands say their goodnights and we thank them one more time. For everything. But one more thing...Did you know that Lauren's pants were on backwards when we came for lunch today? Ummm...
Text to worship pastor: Yes, I can sing on Sunday.
Text from friend who had job interview today: Yes, it went well.
Text from Renae: How are you still standing at this point?
Baths. Getting clothes ready. We're buying lunch tomorrow, kids. Too tired to pack and nothing left in the fridge anyway. Looking through folders and double-checking homework. What does this note "bring slippers tomorrow" mean? We'll have to ask Lauren when she gets up in the morning. Oops, Evan erased his math homework. He'll have to do that in the morning too. And then there it was. Four "tests" stapled together. All 100%. All "S+". How is he this big? How does he have his first wiggly tooth and bring home his first spelling test on the same day? How did we get here?
The husband and I sit down at the dining room table together. I order the groceries online. (Praise Jesus for Lowes Foods to Go! Seriously.) Almost done...ready for bed...11:00. And we hear footsteps. We didn't make it in time. So we clean up pee from the dresser and the carpeted floor below, tuck a little boy back into bed. And we do this:
And I praise God for every second of today. We have worked hard and lived fully.
I am exhausted, but my rest lies in Him.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
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