Who really wants to pick apart the worst parts of themselves?
And then I start to realize it really isn't about ME anyway. It's something greater brewing. It's usually God tapping me on the shoulder saying:
Hey there. Ummm, so...you're pretty much a butthole. Get it together.
I'm not really sure how else to describe it because I feel like God places a firm grip on my shoulders and makes me EXTREMELY self aware.
*which I pray my children feel this as they grow and mature because I'll tell you they are very unaware of themselves, currently, and let's just say I pray it for them every day*
Being extremely self aware for me is my first red flag that I need to reel myself in.
And by reeling myself in I mean basically just submerging my thoughts and feelings into deep prayer.
Having a large, young family makes it hard to find time for friends and I've definitely been very guarded with whom I spend my time. Mostly because my time is so limited (and by this I mean time spent apart from wiping a bootie, being a personal chauffeur, cheering at sporting events, cleaning up my house, packing lunches, snuggling sleepy kids, laundry, ehmmmm...you get the point).
I cherish these times so much because they are fleeting and before I blink my kids will be grown.
But I've also been thinking about how important it is to make deep, connecting, relationships with people who are living life in my same season.
This is where it gets tricky.
I've always read this verse and immediately thought of marriage:
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.””
2 Corinthians 6:14-18 ESV
But, for the past week I've been really digging and reading applying this to friendships as well.
What even is being unequally yoked?
Think of an ox with his yoke pulling a cart. If there are two ox then they are yoked together pulling a cart in the same direction. If one ox makes a poor choice and goes in a bad direction then the other ox follows.
Surrounding yourself with those who can help keep you accountable and encourage your spiritual growth is absolutely important. (So you aren't pulled down a path you shouldn't be going).
But on the flip side, God calls us to go out and be a light!
On the surface this seems confusing.
Basically: stop pretending that your every day life is Unimportant for eternity.
Where you invest your time is important.
Every single day is not guaranteed. So am I living my life loving people, serving others, witnessing to others through how I live my life?!
Am I surrounding myself with others who make me a better person?
Complacency is a scary place to be!
I'm tired of living each day like it doesn't really matter.
Because it totally does matter.
The words that come out of my mouth matter.
My body language matters.
Having meaningful conversations matter.
Living with purpose each and every day matters.
You can't live in a bubble surrounding yourself with only people who meet you where you are spiritually.
However, finding your core group of people who challenge you, hold you accountable, and help feed your soul with scripture is absolutely necessary.
That's why being unequally yoked in relationships is tricky.
Using discernment in friendships is super important to me.
Learning how to make sure you keep your spiritual soul health where it should be is a balancing act.
It's so easy to fall in to a routine of being unaware of how your every day conversations and actions (& posts on social media) can come across as self glorifying, arrogant, and basically ammunition for every nonChristian you come in contact with to say:
This is exactly the reason Christians are the worst kinds of people, they preach one thing but live their lives completely mocking all they believe in to be true.
I suck at a lot in my life.
One of the major areas I suck at is being a perfect Christian.
I don't expect my friends to be perfect Bc I am nowhere near perfection.
BUT: Being unequally yoked to a friend or two leads down paths that encourage us to make poor choices.
Listen. One day you're going to need this core group of friends. You never know what life will throw at you.
And these relationships built through toddler tantrums, chasing preschoolers, a glass of wine on your back porch while all of your kids play outside, sitting in freezing cold wind watching your kids play baseball, kids pooping and puking in their preschool class, praying for each other in the middle of a sleepless night, and one ZILLION text messages that would seem completely psychotic & bizarre to others...
These are YOUR PEOPLE.
Hang on to them for dear life.
Wrap your legs around them & never let go.
The extra effort it took to get where you are is worth it.
I've learned a lot over the last 12 years since becoming a Momma. Lord knows I don't know it all. But, I know it matters who you hang around. It matters who you share your soul with and it matters if these people meet me where I am spiritually and encourage me to keep growing.
There are different types of friendships and it took me a long time to figure this out.
I'll never be so shallow that I'll only hang around 'like minded' people. That's completely the opposite of what we are called to do by God.
But, I do know that there are only a few people whom I will 'yolk myself to' and these relationships have different expectations.
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
Proverbs 13:20 ESV
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Whoever tends a fig tree will eat its fruit, and he who guards his master will be honored. As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.”
Proverbs 27:17-19 ESV
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