Oh sweet child

I've been reading a lot of WONDERFUL blog posts on how you just need to soak up the sweetness of your child coming into your bedroom 14 times in the night. And remember all these precious tiny moments. Please don't forget to lay in bed with them and stroke their sweet hair as they drift to dream land.

Seriously.

I'm a REALLY compassionate and patient person. It's true. Parenting with grace is difficult, yes. Yes, it is!!!

There are many many many things I agree with when reading these blog posts. For one, this time with small children is fleeting. These pitter patter feet that run down the hall at 2am are Only for a season. Sniff. 

They still like me and love me and think I'm the bees knees (you liked that old time saying, didn't you? Thought so.).

This season is probably pretty easy compared to what we are going to face as hormones rage and attitudes develop.

So, here's my thought about these mushy sweet blog posts...

wait for it...

wait for it...

Yes. I like them. A lot.

However, sometimes your child who continues to get up out of their bed 12313 times in 3 hours causing mass chaos in a sleepy home needs this:

Obedience.

      &

Prayer.

Whatever happened to parents expecting obedience from their children? 

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”^{a  Ephesisans 6:1-3}

I can tell you this: my kids will be turds. And they might even be a turd to you, yes, you...whoever is reading this now. Because they are human. And I know they can't be perfect. 

However, we have expectations that the Lord has set upon us & them. And it is THE PARENT'S job to instill these skills in to our offspring. 

YEP. 

It's on you, Momma. And Daddy. 

EXPECT obedience. Teach obedience. Live obedience in your own lives. 

Now, we are also commanded by the Lord not to provoke our children to anger. We shouldn't push their buttons or talk to them without self control (by golly, I am working on this!!! seriously. sometimes I just want to flick them in their ear & spin around like a freaking lunatic because NOBODY has matching socks. Nobody. Ever.)

But, I reel my freakish outburst in & instead remember this:

4Fathers,^b do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

I've got to be a role model for my children's behavior. That's hard. Period. 

If I yell, they yell. 

If I give sarcastic body language, they give sarcastic body language. 

If I roll my eyes & give a full body sigh...they will do the same.

We teach our kids how to respond to us. Truth.

I've learned (the hard way) that my kids don't listen when I yell. They shut down. Tune me out.  But, when I raise my voice & grab their attention, then speak normally but sternly, they hear me. 

There is on occasion in our home some VERY firm words (not ugly, not rude, not inappropriate) that are said when our children are not obeying. I like to call that the 'reality check in the name of Jesus.'

Sometimes kids need a reality check.

And sometimes I need a reality check.

It seems like this whole parenting teeter totter is a scheme of checks & balances. 

Check in with the Lord & He balances out our insecurities & throws us right back on the correct path to effectively parenting our kids.


Listen, sweet cheeks, I am no perfect parent. Farther from it than the moon. I just know that i've tried lots of things & the ONLY sure thing that works is seeking the Lord to guide you as you parent.

My goal is to raise children that love the Lord & they see His truths in my life as an example of the Faith I'm teaching them. 

Why would they want to serve a God that is absent in my everyday life & only on my lips as words for their ears to hear? 

Don't just speak His words. Live them.

22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. James 1:22-25


And pray. Pray for your kids (and yourself) daily. I pray for myself a lot, especially when I really want to jack their tail up in the name of Jesus when they give me lip or attitude (or flop themselves around on the floor of Kohl's because I'm trying to buy them new underwear to prevent the circulation from being cut off of important body parts?!?! Or for telling me you didn't have to pee before we got in the car to drive THREE hours & then 20 min down the road scream you're dying inside because you have to pee so badly!!). 

Don't get me wrong. I'll spank their tail if it needs it. But I'll also tell you in all honesty, I refuse to lay a hand on their bottom in anger.  (it defeats the purpose). 

We pray with our kids after they are punished. Why not?!? It teaches them to reach out to the Lord & ask for help & guidance.

I'll also tell you that during a prayer or two (or maybe 35) I've had to ask for forgiveness too for the way I've reacted. This teaches your child that you aren't perfect. 

Parenting is crazy. But it's such a blessing. It is a gift that has been given to us. It isn't something that we are entitled to. I try to remember that EVERY day. Especially when my little litter is running circles around my dragging feet...

If I wasn't chasing around these four blessings then I would be praying for one blessing to chase. Don't take for granted what you've been blessed with by the Lord. And don't take for granted the responsibility it entails as well.

So forgive me if I don't stroke my child's hair & whisper how sweet & lovely it is that they need me in the night. Granted, sometimes that's in order (I'm not completely heartless). 

But most nights, you'll get a stern reply from this sleepy mom in the middle of the night that goes a little something like this "I love you, go back to bed, we sleep at night, I'll see you when the sun comes up."

Expect obedience & pray you live your days for those little eyes to see Him shine through...

Dr. Junior

"Mom, why did Dr. Junior have a dream?"

I had already seen the paper in her take-home folder, so I knew exactly what she meant. Her class has been talking about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in school this week. She is a sharp cookie for her age, but this is a tough concept. I went on to ask her about the investigation her class had done with a brown egg and a white egg. The idea is that you talk about how on the outside, the shell is hard and protects the inside. The only difference is the color of the shell.

Then, you break the egg open and show that the insides are identical. One yolk, one albumin, nothing else. They're both the same. That prompts a discussion about how people are no different from each other on the inside.

(If you'd like to do this activity with your child or students, you can get a FREE printable here: http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Martin-Luther-King-Jr-Egg-Activity-191824)

She could tell me verbatim what she had done, what her teacher had said, and recounted it with the usual enthusiasm of a child who has an amazingly gifted kindergarten teacher. (We love her dearly, if you can't tell.)

But she wasn't really getting it.

I went further. She is bright, so I felt that I could tell her more. I explained that a long time ago, people weren't always allowed to do the same things. Things like going to a certain school or going to a certain restaurant. Sometimes people with peach skin (as she calls it) didn't even want to be friends with people who had dark skin.

"They didn't?"

"No, they didn't. And sometimes they were very mean."

"That wasn't very nice of them." "Mom, why do people call our skin white instead of peach?"

My answer - "Probably because peach looks close to white."

 But this set off a momentary rage within me. I don't know this for sure, but I imagined for a second that somewhere back in time, someone decided that Caucasian skin should be called white because it would sound the most opposite of black that it possibly could.

When really, we're all just the yolk and the albumin on the inside.

Our conversation ended and I realized...She still didn't understand. Not really. 

Her teacher's lesson and our conversation will now be a part of her schema to help her answer the questions her teachers will ask in years to come. She'll be the one raising her hand. She always is. But really, she just does not get it.

And I am SO glad.

She will never know a world where she cannot hug her friends with dark skin. She will never know a world where it is not ok for the Hispanic boy in her class to teach her how to say Spanish words. She will never know a world where there are no dark skinned baby dolls.

This world is not perfect. It never will be. She will learn things later that will break her heart like they break mine. But for now, there is a little peach girl in North Carolina who will hug your neck and talk your ear off no matter the shade of your skin.

GOD MADE US ALL.

Galatians 3:28 (NIV)

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

 

 

A Christmas miracle

On Friday December 6, 2013, we got a call that froze our world.

Our Dad was taken to the ER. Chest pains, a 'pop', feeling faint.

Little did we know what God had planned for our family. We will tell you one thing:

He showed His miraculous healing power & beyond any shadow of any doubt that could ever cross your mind let us tell you...

Jesus saved our Dad's life because logically & medically speaking he should not have lived.

Dad had a dissected aortic aneurysm. In laymans terms: he busted the crap right out of the entire layer of his aorta. By the time he got to the hospital he had no pulse & no blood pressure but he was STILL CONCIOUS. He talked his way through his symptoms & less than 2 hours from the time he heard his aorta pop (yes...he heard it pop!) he was on a bypass machine being prepped for surgery.

Here is Renae's personal account of how this has changed her life.

My dad and I have had our trying times all of my life. Over the past twelve years there has been a very fragile relationship between my family (Kdog & our kids) & my dad.

 Let me throw this out there: divorce is tricky & hurtful. Watching your parents get divorced as an adult is heartbreaking.

But let me also say this: The Lord can work miracles to heal wounds that you thought could never be healed.

Kdog & I are very open with my dad. There was not a feeling unsaid regarding our relationship. Over the past four months my dad had reconnected consistently with my children. The Lord was preparing our household for what was about to happen. My children are very attached to my dad & I've never been able to say that before. And this was happening BEFORE his miraculous aortic repair.

When I got to the hospital & waited with his wife & my brother it felt like a bad dream. We didn't know if he would live through the surgery. 

We waited for five hours and during those five hours The Lord melted away resentment & uncomfortable feelings.  He replaced them with love & compassion.

As we waited for the surgeon my dad's wife said repeatedly 'I have a peace from The Lord that he is going to be ok.' 

And he is.

 The surgeon replaced his aortic valve & grafted a new aortic arch. His 'new parts' will probably outlast the rest of his body. 

One new 'part' is a pig valve. My oldest has named him 'Bacon'.

We waited 8 hours that day before my brother & I followed 'Mamaw' (as our kids call her) into the ICU. 

It was the best feeling in the world to kiss my dad's hand, pray over him, & realize The Lord had given him a second chance at life.

The next several days are hazy but mostly I remember seeing him sedated with tears rolling down his face. I knew my dad was in there. 

My sister came and we had lots of time together (which is unusual since she lives 3 hours away!!). We prayed over Dad, stroked his hair & held his hands. 

My most precious moment was praying over dad & my sister started to pray outloud. Dad was still sedated, breathing tube in & he became restless. He was responding to our prayers!!! 

Dad has made a miraculous recovery. He came home on December 23. He's weak but progressing everyday. He had a small stroke & some vision damage but they are both resolving with each & every day!

While mamaw is at work he comes & hangs at my house. It's never dull here. And we keep him moving. 

The love of children & laughter is the best medicine of all if you ask me!

This entire life changing experience has brought my entire family closer. Yes, even my mom & 'step' mom. We all have one thing in common: LOVE. 

Love for our Lord & Saviour. And do you know what He commands?

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34, 35 NIV)

Tomorrow is never guaranteed. 

Relationships are worth repairing.

Love always comes out ahead.

God is Healer, Sustainer, Giver of life.

Through all things God gives us strength to endure whatever life may bring.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NIV)

When something like this happens your perspective changes. You learn a lot about yourself & your family. The biggest thing I've learned is this...

Love.

Give. (Your time. Your support. With no strings attached)

Pray.

The Lord empowers you to do whatever it takes to come together if you ask Him first. 

I'm thankful for this experience.

 Weird, maybe?!?

My dad is a miracle through whom The Lord can use to bring other people to His Kingdom.

Amen.

Why We Elf

He's back.

Actually, THEY'RE back. There's a host of scout elves haunting houses all over Middle America and creepily spying on innocent young ones across the world. And it's all in the name of Santa...that jolly old bearded fellow who magically shimmies down chimneys everywhere to deliver lots of commercial stuff to our impressionable babes who have been induced with toy-madness since the end of August when they started playing Christmas music in Wal-Mart.

You be good. Really good. Your elf will tell Santa. You will get lots of presents.

Oh, mercy...it sounds just plain wrong. But I'd love to tell you why we do it anyway.

IT'S FUN (!)

More specifically, WE think it's fun. You don't have to like the elf. You don't have to have one of your own if you don't want one. And I won't love you any less if you don't. In fact, if your child is under the age of two and/or you still can't pee by yourself on a regular basis I might even suggest that you don't have time for the elf. That's ok and I also promise you will pee alone again one day. One fine, fine day.

Simply put, Christmas is about God sending his son, Jesus, to the earth in flesh as a baby. It has nothing to do with Santa or elves, we all know that was just a byproduct that happened much, much later. The common denominator here though is that the heart of this holiday is two things: JOY and LOVE.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

~Galatians 5:22-23

Check out the first two fruits of the spirit! LOVE and JOY!

We move that (insert your own adjective here) elf every night, and make it do silly, sometimes involved things, because we LOVE our children! We do it because it creates JOY in each of our hearts! The morning beasties are sweet and cooperating these days because they are so full of joy while trying to find where "Doc" is the morning! Not to mention the hours that my husband and I spend TOGETHER (what??) during the Christmas season planning, plotting, and crafting this little guy's next crazy scheme!

We also do it because we can make it into something teachable. The other day we read this article: http://voices.yahoo.com/5-elf-shelf-ideas-havent-thought-of-12409891.html. Meet Renae's elves, Hervy & Vivi, and the note Hervy left her kids last week:

 

Vivi & Hervy Bake                          Vivi Arrives 

 

This isn't just experiencing love, this is TRAINING UP LOVE! I have no doubt that her Fab Four will remember how they actively paid it forward with Hervy and Vivi's money far more clearly than when Mom simply told them with her words that they should always pay it forward.

It's also a way for moms who take care of others all day and limit their creative sides to show a little creativity of their own. We were creative once...before sleep deprivation killed two thirds of our brain cells.

Hervy's Marshmallow Bath
 

 

I look forward to Doc. I love how excited my kids are to find him each morning. I love the JOY that it brings them. Seeing them experiencing JOY brings me JOY in return!

Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.

~ Psalm 47:1

 

 

Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength." 

~ Nehemiah 8:10

 

 

JOY IS OF THE LORD!

 

 

Doc Repents

 

You can also click through to Denyse's other blog, The Super Mom Chronicles, for Doc's 2012 adventures! http://momchronicles.blogspot.com/2012_12_01_archive.html

Doc has a few groupies after last year's antics. Feel free to follow his progress on instagram using the hashtag #doctheelf as well as #elfontheshelf for a few great ideas IF you need them. ;)

Denyse's Top Ten Thankful List

1. SALVATION
2. My family, friends, church, the bible, my house, my car, my cats, having a job...you know...the "BIG" ones.

But then...I'm thankful for these:

3. Contact Lenses. I've been wearing them for 27 years. I just can't see right out of glasses. They almost make me dizzy.
4. Living three miles from work. It has changed my life. I can get to work in five minutes most days. I can run home during specials and change my pants if someone accidentally spills their lunch all over me.
5. Flat irons. I don't think I have to explain that one. You know. 
6. Fiesta Mexicana. It's my favorite food. The fact that my family loves this place probably has more to with the way the people there make us feel than anything else. We've taken nearly every good friend or family member there to eat at least once.It makes us happy. Love.
7. Lowes Foods to Go. Because I can't take my children into the grocery store after we've all been at school all day. I just can't. And there are better things to do on Saturday.
8. Clumping Cat Litter. Praise Jesus!
9. Heated Car Seats. Heaven on earth.
10. Facebook. It has its down side. But I love seeing pictures of my niece and nephews and my friends' children on a daily basis. I love the perfect passage of scripture that pops up on my feed exactly when I need it. I love that it's the fastest way to get 200+ people praying in less than five minutes. I love redeeming technology, one post at a time.

Oh, I could go on! But I will get back to my Loves now. Happy Thanksgiving! EnJOY!! <3

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT)

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.                                                                            

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Renae's top 10 Thankful List

1. Our Heavenly Father who saved me from eternal darkness & brought me to Light

2. Sweet baby tooshies

3. A Redhead that loves me despite of my annoying flaws

4. Deodorant

5. Coffee. Really really great coffee

6. Freedom. That MANY men & women sacrifice time with their own families to protect. 

7. Pie. Cheesecake. Cookies. And appetizer dips.

8. Clean water to drink. All. The. Time.

9. My family & 'village' who help me with my litter of children

10. Flip flops (and sunshine and sea breezes)

Today we will be on a huge country farm that belongs to Kdog's aunt & uncle. We enjoy the simple things today, slowing down to embrace the gorgeous landscape our Heavenly Father has created. Praying we learn to slow down more & rush less as we head in to the Christmas season. 

Being grateful is a constant effort in a fallen world but through His grace & love it is possible to find JOY. Always.

'Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.' (Psalm 100:4, 5 NIV)

Gobble gobble, y'all!!

A Different Thanksgiving

In light of Thanksgiving coming around the corner I'd like to share about how my definition of thanksgiving has been forever changed.

 Thankful is a very heavily used word around our house.

You see, we are thankful for death, disease, pain, & suffering....

HUH?!? Yeah. I know. You thought we were weird before but now I'm telling you I'm thankful for some terrible things?

Let me explain...

About twelve years ago (give or take a few) Kdog & I began an unimaginable journey to thanksgiving. 

Thanksgiving in the terms of being thankful everyday for the small things. 

But also for being thankful for circumstances & life events that hurt. 

Being thankful for pain.

Thanking God for the struggles Because of where we are on the other side.

After the rainy stormy foggy crappy dark hole of desperation & anguish that held us in bondage there was LIGHT & beauty.

There is JOY.

I know, right?!? I'm such a perfect wonderful thankful Christian. Pfssssst.

Go ahead. Kick my face.

I mean, come on, do you really think we got here easily or without strife?

Rewind:

When Kdog & I were first married we noticed his mom forgetting things. She was YOUNG. In her 50s. Clinically depressed for years after losing her husband (Kdog's daddy-o). But one of the sweetest (unless you crossed her wrong & that redheaded woman would cut you with a look so deep it would make a grown man pee himself) & soft spoken women I've ever met. She was modest and could bake up the BEST poundcake & poppyseed bread. She treated me like her own & once I got to know her, fell in love with her sweet spirit.

She loves The Lord & instilled in her children the importance of God, family, & perseverance (after kdog's Dad died [when he was 12] she went back to nursing school).

I LOVED listening to stories of how much she loved Kdog's father. She would say 'I had the best & nobody will ever compare.' 

She ALWAYS had her bible beside her chair with lists & lists of people she was praying for.

She was an intrugal part of establishing my solid faith & at the time I didn't even know it.

Soooooo....

At the age of 56 my mother in law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. And we began the journey that would change our world forever.

When you're 22 you don't exactly have the maturity level to take on the responsibility of being a caregiver for a parent. That comes later in life, right!!??

You learn fast when times get REAL.

Taking away car keys 

Moving out of houses

Assisted living

Medications

Laundry...

We also found out quickly that in order to cope you have to find humor. And boy was there some humor!

I've clipped toe nails

Washed buttcracks (what, you've never washed your mother in laws buttcrack?!?)

Gotten phone calls from assisted living about naked dancing in hallways (kdog's mom would have NEVER done anything like that in her right mind.)

Accused of taking her to jail (Kdog was the sherif, you know.)

But in the midst of the humor there were walls being built preventing us from feeling. Loving. LIVING.

Fast forward:

A good five years went by and we were melting. Fading. 

We thought we were clinging to The Lord.

But little by little we started realizing how bitter we were becoming.

Then God opened our eyes:

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:24-26, 28 NIV)

There was so much bitterness in this house for a long time & holding on to why & how long...what should of been, etc (the list is huge).

 But ever since we prayed together to release ALL of this to Jesus we've been freed of the stronghold stealing our joy.

There are still tough days but they are manageable through Jesus's gift of amazing GRACE. 

 Kdog is a much better husband & father bc he realizes how precious time is...

And I'm a better wife & mother because I realize tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

My mother in law is still clinging to life here on this earth. We've stopped asking why & pray His will be done.

I'm thankful for what this whole experience has made our marriage...solid. Centered on Christ. And I can guarantee without having lived the dark, difficult years before, we would never have gotten to where we are now.

" Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6, 7 NIV)

We are thankful.

Everyday we are thankful.

Focus on the good.

Find the joy.