He has a rather powerful testimony & he doesn't even know it yet.
You see, we never knew we would have four children. After divalicious was born we thought we were done having babies.
And then this 'voice' started talking to me. I attempted to ignore it.
Rationally I was done having children. I felt overwhelmed with three. How on earth could I possibly take care of four children...and do it the way The Lord intends me to?
Sigh.
We went on about our life & this little 'voice' kept nagging me. "You are going to have another baby."
The Holy Spirit told me we were having another baby.
Well, crap. Now what?
So, I told KDog.
And he laughed.
Hysterically. For like an hour.
Kdog's comments:
You're not a pleasant pregnant woman, you know.
Uh, I don't think your body can handle that again.
We have a complete family.
You may be feeling this but there is no Holy Spirit whispering baby messages in my ears!!
I was TOTALLY ok with this answer because quite frankly I couldn't rationally think about it either. It just didn't logically make sense.
4 kids.
So, we agreed to pray. Kdog prayed for The Lord to show him His plan if He had another child planned for our family.
I prayed for clarity & specific qualities in this child He kept whispering into my soul.
I prayed that IF this was His plan:
His timing. His miraculous planning.
Happy pregnancy where I was nice to people (that's embarrassing, but true!)
Natural labor/delivery with no medication
A sweet, laid back baby having a sweet soul & smiled more than I knew possible.
Pleasant nursing experience preventing manic crazy Renae lactating scenarios that ALWAYS occur when I have a baby.
That our other children never once felt less loved because of a new addition.
And so on and so forth. You get the picture.
Well...
Months went by.
Prayers went up.
And one day My oldest son told me I was pregnant.
Huh?
Yeah. He said, "I think you need to go to the doctor because you have a baby in your belly."
Hahahaaaa. Weirdo.
Or WAIT...I started counting days & cycles & lunar eclipses (hahaaa, just kidding).
I took a test & BAM. I was. What?!? I was???? Immediately call best friend, send her to store & come to my house so I can pee on 68543 dollar store pregnancy tests!!!
Insert Kdog on phone "well, you better take another test because that can't be right."
There was no trying to have a baby. At all. And our other children required some fertility medicine.
Woah.
As the shock wore off & morning sickness set in we went to our first appointment. And there it was. Another heart beating so miraculously in my womb.
Kdog & I immediately got slapped up side the head with a BIG DOSE OF JESUS.
He has a plan bigger than our tiny earthly brains can comprehend.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)
When we told the kids about the new addition our oldest said 'well, I KNEW it. After you tuck me in at night & we say our prayers, I've been praying alone that we would have another baby.'
The Holy Spirit had been guiding our oldest too! Kdog & I about hit the floor.
Why are we ever surprised by His work? By His plan? By His loving whispers or scolding prods? Why is it hard to discern between His guidance & our wants?
Because we are human. And sinful.
But, we are redeemed through His ultimate sacrifice. And because of that we can receive The Holy Spirit to help guide our choices & paths.
“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. (John 14:15-17 NIV)
So, along came Tater.
And he was everything I prayed for.
This baby has filled our lives with indescribable joy.
This little dude has completed my soul in many areas I felt empty or unfinished.
There are many areas I am disobedient. I am not perfect at discerning the Holy Spirit. Never will be.
But each and every day when i look in to this baby boys eyes I say a prayer of thanksgiving.
I am so thankful I listened when The Lord was whispering Tater into my soul.
The Lord flipped our plan upside down & smeared it all over our face. He took OUR PLAN & showed us it is HIS PLAN.
Our family is a better family because of our sweet Tater. We are so in love with this kid.
Tonight I'll be saying sweet thankful prayers as I kiss my one year old goodnight. And not feeling sad because of all the 'lasts' of babyhood. But, feeling excited about the future & wondering what other areas in our lives The Lord is going to give us some surprises...
Happy First Birthday, Tater Tot! You have helped make our family happier than we ever dreamed possible. Our prayer for you, sweet son...
‘ “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” ’ (Numbers 6:24-26 NIV)
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