I'm No Angel

Today my Instagram feed was filled with images of women in their underwear.

Not my usual smiling babies and scripture with curly typeset and lovely background images; I was taken aback. With a few clicks, I discovered that Lane Bryant has launched a new counter-campaign to promote their Cacique line of undergarments. Which I wear. Daily. I have for years upon years because they are THE best bras I've ever worn. Truth. 'I'm No Angel' is a play on Victoria's Secret Angels line. One ad touts a feisty, plus sized model lifting up her shirt to show her bra and panties and proclaiming, 'This is the new sexy! I woke up like this!'

I follow Lane Bryant because I wear their clothes faithfully. I've been a plus sized girl pretty much since the day I was born. Give or take a few of my high school years. (The fad diets worked back then.) It is difficult to find plus sized clothing that is of good quality, stylish, and affordable. LB is, and will continue to be, my wardrobe staple.

The marketing angle has an applaudable secondary focus, which is to promote positive self body image in women. As any plus size girl can tell you, we live in a body-worshiping, air brushed, warped reality of a world. Actually, any girl, plus sized or not, can probably tell you that. If you think of five women that you know, I guarantee each of them can tell you multiple things they think are 'wrong' with their bodies. I'm willing to wager that one of those five has had some form of eating disorder at some point in her life.

The I'm No Angel campaign uses other slogans such as, 'How boring would it be if we were all the same?' and 'Beauty Is Beyond Size.' I couldn't agree more with both of those statements. God created us differently and we should absolutely celebrate that. And then, there is that whole issue of inner beauty. Do you have that? Because that is far more important than anything that is on the outside.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~Psalm 139:14

There's just one problem, though.

Even in their sincere efforts to help women to feel better about their not-so-perfect bodies (and to sell underwear), they are still making one huge mistake. The focus here is still on the hypersexualization of the female body. Lane Bryant is still flaunting busty pictures of scantily clad ladies. So, what I take from this, is that in order to be sexy - in other words, viewed as attractive by a man - I need to walk around with my midriff and my boobs hanging halfway out? Is this really what we want to see our daughters doing?

Yes, I get that they are advertising lingerie and therefore would need to use photographs OF the lingerie. I have nothing against pretty, feminine undergarments. Lingerie has its place. But its place is just not on a giant billboard in the middle of New York City. Nor is it in daytime commercials on my tv, nor in catalogues sent to my home that my seven-year-old son might lay his sweet little eyes upon.

Wrapped packages create far greater anticipation. Haven't we always known that? Why is it that that we keep uncovering more and more? The whole thing is backwards. If you've got it, flaunt it? No! Don't share your body with just anybody. Save it for the one that matters. Think about it. You know I'm right.

Modest really is the hottest. Now, don't go burka on me here. But please, just keep the girls covered and your booty contained. Your body is a gift. Don't unwrap it until the right time.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.   ~ 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Be Still

Sweet Sister,

Please stop. Please take a minute to be still today. I know you weren't expecting this. Your schedule is off. The day is a mess...the week may even be a mess. But I promise you that this isn't the end of the world! It just isn't! Whatever was supposed to take place this week can be planned again. And whatever you missed may have been on purpose. The Mighty One knows our every need. Our every move. Our every everything. He knows!! Maybe you missed a car accident by being stuck at home. Or maybe you experienced a first today because you were THERE!! A first step or a first funny precious little smile...a first word read...or anything...just anything.

It's still snowing. I know. And they are crying for dinner. And you didn't get a shower today. I so, so know! But these days will be gone soon. Sooner that we'd like to believe. They will be driving and going to college and finding girlfriends. And worse...boyfriends.

We will be wishing for these days back.

And we will not get them.

Father God, bless these mothers. Bless them deeply. Bless them so that they know that the work they do is not just important and necessary but INVALUABLE. Father, let them be so full of YOU that their children can feel Your presence. Let them know that what matters today is that their children are alive. They are together. They are safe. And warm. And loved.

Father, please give them strength to mop that snowy, melted mess in the foyer one more time. Give them the energy to sled down the hill again. Give them the patience to referee one more argument and turn that xbox off when the time comes. Bless them with the creativity to come up with one more thing to do before chaos ensues.

And when the chaos happens, just allow them to bask in those noisy voices that are breathing fresh air with healthy lungs. Let them be thankful for Netflix and ipads and all things that blink and need internet. Help them to make one.more.cup.of.hot.chocolate.with.extra.marshmallows.

Because we will wish for these days back.

And we will not get them.

Amen.

Seize this day! Make it good! In reality, it may not be perfect. But there will be something you can love about it! Find that. Enjoy that. Bask in that.

Because you do not know what may happen tomorrow.

"Jesus said, ‘No procrastination. No backward looks. You can’t put God's kingdom off till tomorrow. Seize the day.’” (Luke 9:62 MSG)

Who needs make-up anyway??

Make it stay.

Make it stay.

The clinging on to Joy. You know, Not taking a moment for granted. Realizing our days are numbered and savouring each and every precious moment together.

Make this feeling of thankfulness and most indescribable family synch, stay...

With the passing of Kdog's momma, we've been emotionally & physically exhausted. There were emotions that surfaced we were unaware exisited. But, that goes to show you can never really prepare for the passing of a parent.

We've been grieving for years. Slowly over time, as you lose your loved one the FIRST time, to Alzheimer's, you begin to grieve. 

Thank goodness we are on the other side of the hill and have found JOY in pain and earthly confusion. 

But, the most amazing part of this whole experience is that this scripture has come alive in our home:

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5 ESV)

I keep saying to myself over and over, make it stay. Make this sense of urgency and thanksgiving and love and savouring every. Single. Moment. Stay.

It's so annoying to be human sometimes.

We get caught up in the mundane. We drown ourselves in laziness. And hop right back on that 'take it all for granted' train.

I keep finding myself deeply pondering how to make these feelings of urgency stay.

There's only a few 'good' answers for this question...

Stay connected to God's word. In His presence we find urgency. 

John Piper writes about paradoxes of Christian life:

Let me illustrate some of the paradoxes of the Christian life by simply quoting the apostle Paul. He described his own life in 2 Corinthians 6:8–10 like this:

. . . as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

This is what I mean by the paradoxes of the Christian life. Paul says he is "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." How can you be always rejoicing if you are sometimes sorrowful? There must be some kind of "sorrowful joy" and "joyful sorrow." Indeed, there is—that is one of the deep paradoxes of life for those who rest in a sovereign God and live in a sinful world.

No matter what: God is sovereign. 

John Piper goes on to dissect Ephessians 5:15-20 and has such great insight on giving thanks and being careful and vigilant...

{But let us be very careful here. It doesn't say you should dance around the coffin. It doesn't say you can't cry if you have cancer. It doesn't say there is no place for anger against injustice. But it does say, "Always be thankful for everything." And this is the word of God, not merely the word of man. If it puzzles us, if it even provokes us, we must not become cynical or rebellious.}

If you'd like to read more on this article by John Piper you can do so here:

http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/urgency-and-gratitude

We can't go forward focusing on what should have been or what could be...we need to be present. Always.

As I watch Kdog twirl our daughter around the kitchen and chase our toddler tornado through the dining room I focus on THESE MOMENTS. Enjoy each sweet moment and let laughter echo in your memory.

I am seriously overcome with gratitude for all the lessons I've learned over the past 12 years as we watched my mother in law's body and mind deteriorate.

 Am I sad this had to happen? Absolutely.

 But, am I thankful for the impact it has had on my relationship with The Lord? 
More thankful than I can ever express.

We can't ever go back, in this house, the way it was before 'Nanna' passed away. And I wouldn't want to...we have been blessed with the knowledge and feelings of a greater joy that can only come from God. He has allowed us to glimpse into the eternal elation that will be forever our own when we one day join our loved ones in Heaven. 

Do you know that greater joy?
Are you really living the life God has planned for you?
Can you find peace and happiness in the midst of earthly sorrow?

This Hope can be yours, and it is found in Jesus.

The Lord doesn't care if you have a good job, He doesn't care if you've got a zillion dollars, He doesn't care if people like you.

But He does care if you have a relationship with Him, bringing others to know His love and spreading the indescribable joy that is eternal.

May we not focus on our earthly pain but remember...

'O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol; you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit. Sing praises to the Lord, O you saints, and give thanks to his holy name. For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime, weeping may tarry for the night, but JOY comes with the morning. (Psalm 30: 2-5)

Dear Heavenly Father,
  May I NEVER lose the urgency to live each day as it is my last here on earth. Help me to focus on the NOW and be present in the every day life you have given me. Make me solid in faith and a studious servant to your scripture. My days are numbered but my joy is eternal because of Your power and relentless love for me. You are my hope and my foundation for each waking day. Thank you. Thank you, for You. Thank you for all you have done and all that you have yet to do...

Amen.

How Going Organic (Didn't) Ruin Thanksgiving!

As always, we're keepin' it real around here this holiday season. So....this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down...on Thanksgiving...(I think I stole that from somewhere. But I digress...as usual...)

                               

We have been trying to do this organic thing in the last eight months or so. It is HARD. We still eat out a lot and we are far from perfect. But after eight months, I feel like we have done this amazing thing. Truly, we are not totally converted. We eat out about five times per week. It's true. Don't faint. But that means we eat at home (or pack) about 16 meals per week. That's a big deal. And if we are making good choices for 16 out of 21 meals per week..well...that has to make a difference.

So, Thanksgiving is very different this year. It's not wholly organic. But here are the ways that we have made changes...without big variations on taste. Because, let's face it..we like food. A lot. So here you go...

5. The sweet potato casserole has no butter.
I bought officially organic butter as well as nearly organic butter from our local farm. But *somehow* the organic butter got put in the freezer on accident. (Ummm...I totally did that.) So I made the sweet potato casserole without butter. I bet it's just as good. I bet.

And did you know...marshmallows have artificial blue dye in them? Why? Marshmallows are white!! The real answer...to make them whiter. Hmmm. We bought no marshmallows.

4. We are eating absolutely NO MSG.

MSG just makes me angry. Besides the fact that it makes me swollen and grumpy, (True, this is a proven fact. As my husband will tell you.) it makes me angry because of its purpose. MSG's purpose is to enhance the flavor of the food it's in. Fine. But it enhances it in such a way that you become addicted to said food. That's just not fair. Especially not for the chubby girls. We have enough trouble staying healthy and you want to make us eat MORE of your junk? It's wrong. Wrong! Down with MSG!!

                                           

3. The broccoli casserole has bunny heads on it.
My Nanny's famous broccoli casserole must be topped with cheese crackers. The only organic cheese crackers I could find were Annie's Bunnies. And that's now....before General Mills has their way with the whole line of Annie's beautiful organic products. (That terrifies me.) So there are dismembered bunny body parts all over the top of my broccoli casserole. Think anyone will notice?

                                            

2. We are having no Kraft anything.
Kraft is one of the leading companies who continually lobby to keep GMO labeling from happening. In case you have been hiding under a rock for awhile, GMO's are genetically modified organisms. They are seeds that are genetically doused with Round Up in order to make buff, hard-to-kill-seeds. But, surprise! They are killing YOU!! Click here to read more: http://www.nongmoproject.org/learn-more/ You shoul know that McDonald's has joined Kraft in this save-the-GMOs war. We have been boycotting McDonald's and Kraft for about six months now.

                                                           

1. I spent over two hours shopping for one meal.
My Evan wanted to go to the grocery store with me. He had no idea what he was in for. I read every label. I considered...I thought...I almost-ed...I maybe-ed...I spent two hours figuring out what would work for one meal. Some battles I  chose not to fight. But I can say for certainty that this year's feast is healthier than last year's. We are moving in the right direction. For that I am thankful.

                                                       

Over the years I have not been the best role model for healthy eating and exercising. I struggle with this daily. But there is far too much evidence that's showing how deadly our processed food supply is here in the United States. I have to make better choices to make a difference for myself, my husband, and especially for my kids. They are so worth it!

Daniel 1:8-16

8But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. 9Now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel, 10but the official told Daniel, “I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your^c food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.”

11Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah,12“Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.”14So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.

15At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.

If this post hit home with you, might we suggest you head on over to http://foodbabe.com/ and look around? There is so much to learn and we are still learning!! 

"Good Eating"

Reinventing socializing

For the past six months I've been waking up. Kind of like a Momma bear coming out of hibernation. The infant stage is behind us (whoooop whoooop!!!) and I'm starting to have time...to think. Oy.

And over analyze. Oh joy!

The last TEN years have consisted of this: get pregnant, be really unbearable, have a newborn, hibernate, start to function 'normally' in society, get pregnant AGAIN. Repeat.

So. I'm trying to start functioning 'normally' in society again.

Hahahaaa. What does that mean?

It means this: I really haven't cared much about socializing or fashion or investing in new friendships (do those exist in your adult life?), or anything else other than trying to survive my day to day life with my awesome growing family.

Now, don't think that paints a gloomy pathetic picture. Quite frankly I have enjoyed this phase of life so much! I got to meet my kids! Kdog and I have reached amazing relationship marriage status. Things are good. Very good.

But...

Finding friends that are in the same season of life is HARD. 

So, I've been over analyzing my friendships.

And I've been placing too much of 'what can I get out of this friendship' in my criteria for friends. 

That'll slap you right upside the head. It certainly will.

The Lord revealed this to me a few weeks ago:

Girl, it doesn't matter what you get out of a friendship. All that matters is that you serve others. And you serve others with a grateful, caring heart. You meet people where they are and don't expect a single thing in return. Life isn't about how others don't care about you (like you care for them). Life is about loving and giving freely. No strings. No stipulations. You shouldn't require anything from anyone. All of your self worth or feeling of admiration should come from God. (Now, I don't recommend being in abusive unhealthy friendships or relationships but that's an entirely different blog post). 

I've realized I have got to stop. Stop putting stipulations or stupid expectations on friendships. 

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:12-13 ESV)

There are also things I've had to realize when it comes to HOW people are friends. I am very much an acts of service, bake you a freaking ten pound bundt cake, kind of friend. And guess what, Renae? Not everyone else is wired the same way. 

Learning to accept the way other people connect to me was truly an eye opener.

This has also made me reach out to others in ways I normally wouldn't. Being intuative to what others are going through and making that phone call or dropping by a cup of coffee and even sending a little note of encouragement really shows others you care. And I've made a promise to myself to make sure others know how much I care. 

We are designed, by God, to form relationships with eachother. Positive, uplifting, hilarious, serious, complicated and wonderful relationships.

As I steer through this interesting season of my life, I'm determined to change the way I am a friend to others and maybe, prayerfully, God will lead me to form some more genuine, deep friendships that I will be forever grateful for. 

Think of others more than you think of yourself. Tell the people you love how much you appreciate them. Don't second guess yourself. People need to be loved and yes, we need God first, but we also need eachother.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV)

Rejoice!

It's a beautiful day.

Today is the first day of a new school year. 

For all of you Mommas out there who are sending your babies off to kindergarten, rejoice! 

Can you believe you've kept them alive long enough to be ready for kindergarten?

It's sad, exciting, terrifying, amazing...

Sending your babies to school is exhausting! Believe me, I've been there twice. Two more to go. It's an emotional situation.

But as you send your babies to school today, remember this...

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16 ESV)

Our sweet chickadees are being a light to others. 

They are planting seeds they don't even know they are planting...

Y'all know I've struggled with public school. (Go back and read Kindergarten Crazies).  But I also have come to grips with the fact that our family was chosen to be warriors in public schools. And that isn't for every family (no judging here! Every family has their own specific plan from God, and that's a fact. Period.).

I'm praying for you today, all of you. All of your sweet babies!!! 

We can't keep our kids from this world. THIS FALLEN world. We can't keep them from seeing and hearing things that aren't part of our parenting plan. We are never going to be able to shelter them from all of the evil in the world. 

But, by golly, we can suit up our kids and prep them for battle. Because we all know it is a battle. We can lay solid foundations that make them fearless leaders for Christ. We can teach them to be BOLD. Be DIFFERENT than their classmates. 

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak. (Ephesians 6:11-20 ESV)

Did you put on your armor today? Did you suit your kids up? 

For whatever your day holds, remember that God is sovereign. He holds your babies in His tight grip. He loves them even more than you. 

Rejoice!! 

The Routine

I am a lover of routine.

This time of year is my favorite because I get to organize a classroom, plan lessons, create templates, make schedules, stock my pantry, pack lunches, match up freshly laundered clothing...

And then 21 or so little people come marching with enthusiasm into my classroom and I get to teach them to organize their binders and their notebooks and their tool boxes...and their minds.

I love.

Clearly, I love me some Thirty-One.

 
I do better and I AM BETTER when I am in the zone. I am on my game, I am productive, I am feelin' it. I can organize, I can plan, I can produce, I can lead, and I can step in and help.

But Father, I ask you this year to let me live in my routine without becoming a creature of habit. Allow me to live in the process and not just in the product. Let me live in relationships and help me build them in healthy ways.

Help me to be the best me for my family, my friends, my coworkers, and my church...and ultimately for YOU and YOUR KINGDOM.

Slow me down when I need slowing down, but just enough that I can use every gift you have given me. I am forever thankful for your love and your example in Jesus Christ. 

Help me to say NO when it is time.

I am so thankful for the blessing of health this year. Oh, so thankful. I pray for health in our family to be sustained and for those who are sick or healing. You are the one and only True Healer.

Let me hear You in every breath I take and live out your LOVE in every action. And help me forgive myself in the times when I fail.

In Jesus name, AMEN.

He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ~John 15:2

27"All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. 28"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.29"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.…  ~Matthew 11:1-27